Perfect

Perfect

Perfecte moeder, perfecte echtgenoot, perfecte medewerker, perfecte collega, perfecte vriendin, perfecte huisvrouw.

Te weinig ontspanning, te weinig slaap, te weinig goede voeding, te weinig me-time…

Herken je dat?

Bij mij was het resultaat op mijn 38e dat ik het letterlijk even allemaal niet goed meer zag. Want mijn ogen lieten me van de één op de andere dag een waas zien. Ik schrok me dood. Huisarts, oogarts en ja hoor… Mijn lichaam liet me letterlijk zien dat ik niet goed bezig was. Mijn bloeddruk was namelijk veel te hoog en daardoor zag ik wazig.

Tja, daar stond ik dan… met al mijn perfectie. Ik vond dat ik had gefaald, schaamde me er ook voor. In het rijtje perfecte personen was ik mezelf vergeten, alles en iedereen vond ik altijd belangrijker dan ik. Mijn tijd komt nog wel, dacht ik altijd.

Hoge bloeddruk, het komt veel voor in mijn familie. Stiekem dacht ik: zo, dat is mooi, dan is het in ieder geval niet mijn eigen schuld. Maar er was ook een stemmetje in me dat zei: “Word wakker Mirjam! Er is er maar één verantwoordelijk voor jouw gezondheid en dat ben je zelf!”

De bedrijfsarts vond het belangrijk dat ik even een time-out nam en daar ben ik haar nog steeds dankbaar voor. Het gaf me de tijd en rust om even alles op een rijtje te zetten. Want hoe wilde ik nu verder? Mijn lijf had me toch wel een hele belangrijke wake-up call gegeven.

Ik las in de krant een persberichtje over een cursus relaxatietherapie. Zes avonden les in ontspannen, dat leek me wel wat. De docent inspireerde me enorm en ik realiseerde me dat ik van haar nog heel veel kon leren. Toen de cursus afgelopen was ben ik bij haar yogalessen gaan volgen. Het bleek het begin van mijn pad naar meer vitaliteit en veerkracht. Zij was mijn  eerste ‘meester’.  Ik wilde leren ontspannen en dat lukte me! Wat kon yoga mij nog meer bieden? Ik verslond er vele boeken over en uiteindelijk besloot ik de vierjarige docentenopleiding te gaan volgen. Naast mijn werk notabene! Nooit gedacht dat ik daar tijd voor zou kunnen maken. Maar dankzij de hulp van mijn man was dat goed te combineren. Eindelijk had ik ’me-time’ en dat was niet alleen goed voor mij, daar werden we uiteindelijk allemaal beter van. Perfect dus!

Hoe perfect ben jij? En als je eerlijk naar jezelf kijkt, vervult die perfectie dan een werkelijke behoefte?

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